I’m worried that one day
my family will add your name
to the list of things to never say around me
and sometimes, when you kiss me
with your records playing in the background
I wonder if I’ll hate that song next October.
Yesterday, I looked at you
and tried to calculate what the odds are
that we’ll rip each other’s hearts apart
and the best I could come up with
and even this feels optimistic.
I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m scared
but there’s no one I’d rather be scared with than you.
“It’s that thing when you’re with someone and you love them and they know it and they love you and you know it but it’s a party and you’re both talking to other people and you’re laughing and shining and you look across the room and catch each other’s eyes. But not because you’re possessive, or it’s precisely sexual, but because that is your person in this life and it’s funny and sad but only because this life will end and it’s this secret world that exists right there. In public. Unnoticed. That no one else knows about. It’s sort of like how they say that other dimensions exist all around us but we don’t have the ability to perceive them. That’s what I want out of a relationship. Or just life, I guess.”—Frances Ha (via notebookings)
The first time your heart was torn from your chest,
You thought you were dying.
You knew you could not live with the empty space.
So you replaced your heart with metaphors
And set out to create a world where the metaphor was unbreakable.
Now look what you’ve done—
You can’t breathe so you write.
You can’t hurt so you drink rum and pour our pirate chanties.
You can’t want revenge so you leave.
When I see you I have two thoughts:
You are the reason The Smith’s wrote songs,
And my god, you are beautiful.
You are so beautiful
Blinking stars go blind.
But I can see this is going to get ugly.
The metaphors don’t make you feel whole anymore.
You sell out your deepest insecurities for a handful of laughs.
This life has you wound so tight you make grandfather clocks look relaxed.
You hold your body like banks hold money—all locked up.
Your shoulders are glass rocks waiting for the next attack.
But you’ve got it all wrong.
You don’t survive history.
History survives you.
There is no breakthrough without breakdown.
If you’re going to break, shatter.
No limp-legged dog excuses.
No messing with this bullet proof vest fury
So popular with the cops and the presidents.
You’ve got to break like Texas.
You’ve got to take the pain from the safety valve of your heart
And return it to your fists.
Fight your better judgment ‘till you’re sinister again,
‘till your body remembers what it already knows how to do—
and manifest grief.
Scream torches ‘till you embarrass the enlightened.
Please. No more polite conversations with your death wish.
Give it something useful to do.
Change your life.
Cause I can’t stand to see you like this.
So blue, my eyes turn green in your presence.
Listen—you are so beautiful,
Grass pushes through sidewalk cracks just to kiss your feet.
Maybe no one ever told you,
But the heart IS a metaphor.
Yours is growing so strong
You’ll have your rhythm back any day now—
Loving like rumours spread.
Dreaming like lunatic spacemen jump from their suits.
Living like you never forgot how.
“And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it’s already happened.”—Douglas Coupland (via feellng)
If someone tells you to listen to a song, listen to it. It may be the worst song you have ever heard but they wanted to share it with you. That is really special. If it makes them feel a certain way and they are so adamant about you hearing it, take 5 minutes to hear it. It shows a lot about someone.
Honestly I think the cutest thing anyone can do for me in a relationship is telling me songs, books, movies, quotes, etc that remind them of me because that is the ultimate admission of affection. It’s beautiful when people can unapologetically admit that they find pieces of you in every thing that they experience.
“If I am ignoring you, I apologize. I become distracted and will focus on one thing a while. Sometimes I’m just emotionally overwhelmed and I have to lay down for a while. I’m not ignoring you because it’s you it’s because life is distracting and hard and so sometimes I just need to stop talking to people and sometimes I do that suddenly.”—Nebula’s Resolution: (via 1112pm)